Today I got my hair bleached for the first time! Mom sent me to the hairdresser to fix the absolute mess I did on my hair a week ago. Since mom wasn't there, I asked the hairdresser if she could de-color the lower section of my hair. It turned out awesome! It's still very yellow but the color will lighten over time.

I don't have much else to say, things have been shitty in general (as always) but there's still some nice things going on. I started crocheting my own sweater. The first try, I made the front piece too wide, and so I ended up turning it into a scarf and giving it to my grandma haha. I've also done lots of granny squares, and I'm currently working on an afghan hound amigurumi. The second try at my crochet sweater is still a bit too wide but it's okay,,I guess. I'm doing yellow and purple stripes; they don't symbolize anything but everyone who sees my project ends up comparing the colors to political symbolism! It's a bit silly because I simply just chose two random yarn colors I liked.

I want to paint my room so that I can feel more comfortable in it. Already drew my idea, I just have to find a way to convince my mom to let me paint the walls. Speaking of convincing my mom: a litter of borzoi puppies were born in my country! They're all so cute,,,I'm hoping I manage to convince her to let me get one.

I haven't gone much to school, but I went on a trip to see another school which is like an alternative to art college. It seemed really cool, but it's far away from where I live, so it'd take a lot of sacrifice to study there. I'd also need to finish this year and the next in my current school, which sounds like shit but I'm hoping things get better. My classmates have stopped bothering me for now.

Hey, look who's back! I left this site half abandoned because I can't edit it with my tablet (the only device that I could use) but I found my mom's old Win7 laptop that somehow still holds up. The screen is all glitchy sometimes but if I hold the screen while typing it stops glitching. I missed windows 7 so much, it's the windows that I grew up with for most of my childhood along with some older ones that we used in school or at my grandpa's. The interface is so friendly and simple and brings back so many memories of when I got my first device from my great-uncle, it was a smaller laptop that I spent so much time on, customizing everything I could and browsing around the internet for images and videos. I had a big collection of downloaded images that I particularly enjoyed and saved, just like a crow that brings shiny and useless trinkets to its nest. Tragically, said collection was lost forever due to a virus that completely shut down my laptop. I wish I could recover at least the oldest folders. Didn't know what a backup was back then. I also had a wonderful video editing software that already came installed when I got the laptop gifted; a very simple program, had exactly what you needed, as well as all those silly transitions and effects that I personally am very fond of. I wish programs were still like that nowadays.

How about some updates on my life? It's unbelievable just how many things have occurred through the past month. It upsets me so much how the world is going right now. I just have no words to describe how I feel, it's horrible already and the year has barely even started! But since we all know what's been going on lately, I'll talk a bit about what's happened in my life, still a lot of things. Firstly, I took a test to enter a course about web design and coding,,,I did horrendously. They didn't even e-mail me back, from how terrible my results must've been. I thought a BEGINNER'S course on WEB MAKING would include at least something about HTML and CSS, given that it's the basic language for building any website. I was so wrong,,,It's 2026 and people only want to learn about AI code, automated stuff, statistics, money,,,everyone at the test was an experienced middle-aged businessperson, but I was no more than some kid who talks about dogs on his neocities! It's so disheartening how very few people seem to care about the indie web today. The web is now focused on earning more, functionality, saving time. What happened to the beautifully hand-crafted worlds of the old web? Why do all courses seem to cater towards those interested in the modern, dull and corporate side of the Internet?

Continuing with my recent life, the past few weeks have been hell for therians in Spain and other spanish-speaking countries. Due to political interest we were abruptly brought into the mainstream, even reaching PUBLIC TELEVISION and the NEWS!!! It was horrible. Fake meetups hosted by malicious people to lure a few young therians that would then be humiliated and threatened by hundreds if not thousands of people, the same people that were demonstrating against bullying just a few months ago! I got a rock thrown at me by a little child just because I was carrying my new mask in my hands, not even wearing it. Children used to love seeing my masks, but now the adults have thrown these hateful beliefs at them and they're repeating what they see. My classmates found out I was a therian because my tiktok profile was somehow shown to them, and they've started treating me horribly,,,I'm in so much distress because of this. Nobody wants to understand our community, they just see a new vulnerable target.

On a more positive side, I'm preparing to possibly sell at an artist alley in a local convention, I'm so excited! I started posting on my new instagram account "sorceryhounds" as one of the requirements to enter is having 1k followers. Slowly but surely I think I'll get there, but I will never stress over an amount of followers; I can always apply next year. I have to confess I don't particularly enjoy the mainstream social media, especially after what happened with my tiktok, but I feel like instagram is a pretty nice place, you just have to find the side of it that suits you the best. I had also started posting on Tumblr, but one of my posts blew up and the comments were filled with bots, I don't feel comfortable with that,,,Anyways, I've been creating some patterns to make multiple of the same plushie (normally I throw away the patterns) and also been learning crochet! I made a small borzoi keychain, a tiny tapestry and some granny squares. After you get "hooked" into the technique, it's really fun!

Last month has been awful in a lot of aspects, but I've also learnt a lot. I've also been drawing so many illustrations that I'm proud of! Hopefully this month will be better. I'll also try updating my site more often. See you guys!

Who would've told us that the crisis would get so harsh that they'd start hiring sighthounds at supermarkets.

I'm not giving up on formal education yet, but I wanted to find some alternatives and my mother suggested I start doing small temporary jobs, so I signed up on the jobseeking list of my region today. They'll contact an organization that will guide me through the process of finding a job that fits my needs as an autistic person. I feel like I'm at some sort of turning point of my life now that I'm given the opportunity to do something else and start finding my way through the adult world but I'm also a bit scared, part of me doesn't feel ready to start working now, I don't feel independent enough. But what matters is starting, trying things out. They'll call me when the whole thing is ready and I can start seeking jobs or formation. They said it's likely I can find a job at a supermarket which does seem nice so I'm eagerly awaiting for them to call me.

My future is really uncertain right now. I want to give this school a chance but it's really hard, not because the studies are hard but because of other factors that should normally be insignificant but really affect me a lot, such as how far it is from home, how "urban" the building is, how BIG the school is, how many people, bad people are in it,,

I'm pondering to just do something else than bachiller but I'm really lost. I want to be independent but at the same time I feel like a child every time I'm exposed to the outside world. I wish I could just start working by drawing commissions, but the idea of talking to my family about the fact that I already am doing commissions online terrifies me,, they don't know I have social media and I want it to stay this way. I wish I could actually earn the money that I make but I'm better off waiting until I can have my own paypal account.

I've been looking through the other alternatives to formal education but I have a feeling that no matter what I do I'm just useless at everything. Literally all I have to do in this school is wake up, take the bus, stay 6 hours and leave, I'm literally studying the only thing I've ever been good at and I'm FAILING miserably,,because I don't even GO!!! I feel pathetic,,,curse my stupid borz life.

I'm going to sign up for the temporary employment list tomorrow, but I genuinely just don't want to do anything at all. I want to curl into a ball and cry.

It was in my room last night, and the next morning it was gone. I asked my mom about it, and she just said it's "outside" which doesn't help at all. What am I going to say? It's been nearly a whole day. If she did this as an "experiment" to see if I would survive without that device, well, I can,,? But she's taken away the only device I could draw in for god knows how long. I have people waiting for owed to be finished. I'm stressed, not because I can't use my tablet but because I can't work, yet I have to bottle up this feeling because any sign of distress from me will make my mom think that I'm one of those kids that, in her words, "get tachycardia over not being able to use their screens".

Pretty sure she did this because she found me working with my tablet at 11pm last night. I wanted to finish an owed piece and got really carried away working on it. I just wish she wasn't this strict. I'm 16, almost 17, I know what I'm doing, but she's always over-protecting me over anything. I don't know what she's trying to do here.

A few days ago my new doctor put me on a diet. I mean,, it was about time. I've been following it strictly for the past few days, and while I know it's gonna be incredibly beneficial for me in the future, I'm hungrier than I've ever been and it's starting to affect me badly.

I genuinely want to be healthy and this is a good opportunity to start, but the total lack of results at the moment is kind of discouraging me (I'm impatient, I know). In the long run it will get better and better over time, I just have to get over the start.

Finally figured out how to make the entries, so the blog is now ready!

I can ramble about anything, right?